Only a mothe r could love this liver
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
