just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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