Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
