so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
