...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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