Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
