I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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