I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
