I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
