Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
