So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize