My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
