It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
