i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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