she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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