how can u be prego again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
