ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
