the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
