At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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