Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
