i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize