I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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