What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
