So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
