were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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