No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
