You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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