Betty ford says i'm here all night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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