I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
