Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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