Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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