Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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