is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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