Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
