she was so not down for the gang bang
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
