Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
