dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize