Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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