Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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