I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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