i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
