He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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