My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
