I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
