biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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