check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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