Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
