For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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