Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
