oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
