Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer

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(310): View more from California

I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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(816): View more from Missouri

After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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(815): View more from Illinois

She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"

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(416): View more from Toronto

Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour

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(816): View more from Missouri

You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex

(816): View more from Missouri

...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship

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(513): View more from Ohio

No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.

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