just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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