Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
