My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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