Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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