Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
