that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
