I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
