One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
