I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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