Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
